Frustration

I am a terrible blogger! I think it's because my life is boring and I'm not real passionate about anthing so there's nothing really to blog about. Wow, that just made me sound really lame. I suppose I could've said that I'm busy doing more imprtant or meaningful things and THAT'S why I don't blog, but I guess that I'm just too honest......sometimes.

So I'm feeling a little frustrated with where I'm at in my life right now. Can't get a loan for a car unless I want to pay 20% interest, which makes me feel like we will never get a loan for a house either (like that would ever happen anyway unless we lived in SLC or Dallas. And can you imagine how much a house would cost in those places?!? $$$$), don't do much other than clean and watch movies with my kids (and the whole time thinking that I should be teaching them something, but they wouldn't listen even if I did), trying to potty train my almost 3-year-old to NO avail......ggggrrrrrrrr, feel a little like an outcast with my family (mom, dad, bros and sisses and mom-in-law), and not real happy with my marriage (there, I said it).

Wow, that was alot of venting! "When upon life's billows....", right? I am thankful for......something.....I know it.....just can't think of it right now. :o( I guess I've just got to lose myself in service. That's what they tell you to do anyway, right? There is always someone out there who has it worse off than you. *sigh* I wonder who the person is who has it just better than me.

Family Resemblance

So I have been told by many people around here that Elias looks alot like my dad. I guess that I never really thought about it or saw the resembance. We were looking through some old family pictures and found these pictures of my dad and his brother as kids. Elias looks almost EXACTLY like him!!! CHECK IT OUT......

Here is my dad and his brother at Easter. My dad is on the left and he is 4 years old. Elias is almost 2 in this picture. Elias can give that same glare that my dad is giving in his picture.

This is a picture of that same day with some friends. My dad is 2nd from the left. This is Elias last summer.

Here is my dad and his brother with their mom. My dad is on the right. I think he is about 2 here. Here is Elias at 2 with Noah.

So what do you think? Similarites? Well if he looks like my dad then he will grow up to be a very handsome man! What cuties!

Moving......

We found a place to live and just in the nick of time it sounds like. I guess my brother-in-law's brother (who is buying this house) was planning on moving here a couple of weeks earlier than we thought. So I'm glad that we found a spot to put out junk so they don't have to worry about staying with someone else.

I will post pictures when I actually take some. The nickname that my boys made up for the new house is 'the box house'. When you see pictures you will know why. Til then......

House Hunting

So this house hunting has become rather depressing. Joey hasn't worked at his job long enough for us to think about buying a house and anything for rent around here is either expensive or disgusting. We looked at a house yesterday that was in our ward and only $450 a month. It sounded too good to be true! Well, it was.

It was 3 bedroom, 1 bath and DISGUSTING.

My visiting teacher is the one that is managing it for someone and she told me that it was disgusting, but I figured that I might be able to clean it up a bit for $450 a month. Nope, I felt gross just looking at it! I don't think that any amount of TLC that I could give it would make it feel comfortable. Let's just say that it put a damper on my house hunting spirits.

One thing that doesn't help is that most people around here don't advertise their rentals. It's mostly word of mouth and if no one knows that you are looking.......it's frustrating. There have been a few people that have given us some ideas, but they haven't led to anything promising. The hardest thing for me is that it's planting season and I really want a garden. I know that I've only had one garden of my own, but it was so much fun to see 'the fruits of my labors'. If we don't find a house soon there will be no garden.

Sad. :o(

So a little more trust in the Lord and a little more work on our part and it will happen. All prayers in our behalf are greatly appreciated!!

Books...

So I had a meeting at Noah's precschool recently and they did a presentation on child abuse and suggested that we read a book. "A Child Called 'IT'". I will warn you that it is the worst recorded child abuse case ever (yes, it's a true story). Noah's teachers said I would need a box of tissues while I read it, but I felt like I need a 'puke bucket' more than tissue. The things that this child went through......... This book should make ANY mother feel good about their parenting skills.

I am now reading the second book of the series and I'm not sure if it's the books or things that are going on in my life right now or what, but I'm just in a weird mood all the time. Not happy, not angry, just weird.

On a good note, Amelia almost rolled over last night! She was actually having a good time laying on a play mat and next thing we know she is on her side. We watched her for a while and she never rolled completely over, but she did turn herself in a circle. She's growing up........*sniff*

Daylight Savings

I love Daylight Savings! I know that there are a lot of people out there that complain about it, but for me the more sunshine the merrier!

The only thing that really screws me up is that I relied too much on when to cook dinner by where the sun was in the sky. So now that day light savings has come we tend to eat dinner at 7 now instead of 6.

I will be going about my day and then glance at the the clock....... "Oh crap! It's 6:30 already!"

Love the sunshine though.................. LOVE IT!!

Sleep Deprived

It has been a little hard to get myself going today. We went to Salt Lake this weekend for a short, impromtu, surprise visit. Mostly for Joey's mom, but we saw some friends as well.

So we got into Salt Lake about 12 friday night and stayed at a Motel 6 cuz they would take dogs. (We brought our little 'Schnoodle', Jack, with us) Now this motel room looked like it had seen better days and that the cleaning crew only did the minimal amount of work expected of them. That, and Amelia was sleeping with me, led to the very long night of not much sleep.

Now, going on vacation or a visit is exhausting in and of itself, but top it off with a limited amount of time and daylight savings in the middle it was VERY exhausting! We had a good visit with everyone though. Maybe a little too good because we didn't get on the road until about 5PM Sunday to start our 8-hour treck home. It was a good thing that the boys were good for the most part and that Amelia realized that it was night time so she slept most of the way. Therefore we didn't have to stop as much.

To make a long story short, we got home at 2AM this morning safe and sound and SLEEPY! I thought, "Good, and few hours of sleep before I have to take Noah to school". Well I was so sound asleep that I don't remember Elias climbing in bed with us sometime. Joey finally woke me up saying Elias was crazy hot. He had a fever, it was 5AM, I got up, gave him a drink of water, which he then decided to swallow and then cough and then spew all over me, gave him some medicine and soothing shower/bath and put him back to bed.

Sleep........oh so short.

Amelia then woke up at 7AM wanting to eat. After she ate she started coughing and threw-up all that she ate on ME. After a quick change and wipe down I had to get Noah off to school. Let's just say that I am running on empty today, but I am glad that my kidd-o's are feeling a little better than they were this morning.

Motherhood.......so full of fun and surprises sometimes.

The Challenge

So the gauntlet has been thrown. By whom you might ask? My hubby, that's who. I think he was tired of hearing me whine about my lack of slenderness or lack of being in shape. Whatever the case, he has challenged me to a dual. So here it is:

He says that he can get 6-pack abs BEFORE I can lose the weight I gained from the baby.

I think he knows that I am an extremely competitive person. (I think that comes from being the youngest of 7 kids.) I am most competitive when it comes to my husband and he knows that. So I'm not sure if he is really just tired of hearing me whine or he knows me so well that I need a challenge to excerise or he just wants me to lose weight. Whichever it is, it is working!

The thing is is that I only gained about 10lbs with Amelia and I only have about 3lbs to lose to get back to the weight I was before I was pregnant. So that shouldn't be too hard. It's the fact that I was NOT the weight I WANTED to be when I got pregnant so I am trying to lose more. I want to lose 13-15lbs and I am shooting for a flat stomach. So, here are the starting weight and measurements:

I wieghed and measured myself yesterday and I was 153 1/2lbs and my waist was 33in. BUT my FAT, aka "Love handles", around my stomach was 35 1/2in.

Can I do it? We shall see. I started a couple of days ago and I did a bunch of sit-ups and push-ups.(I would set a timer for 10 minutes and when it went off I would do 10 sit-ups or crunches and try to do at least 10 push-ups. Woosie, I know.) Then I went for a run/walk with the dog for about a mile. Yesterday I did about the same, but I went for a walk with the dog in the afternoon. And last night I played basketball with a bunch of ladies from 8:30-10:30. I am feeling the after affects of that decision today. OUCH! It was a really good cardio workout though. We have some girls that are still in highschool that play also that make us "old" and out-of-shape ladies RUN. Did I mention I'm in a little bit of pain?!? My body is screaming at me, "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?"

So wish me luck! Hopefully it will start getting better before it gets worse....... hopefully........

A shout out to all my friends in SLC...... we are coming down there TODAY!! We won't be there till LATE tonight since we are leaving when Joey gets off work and we will be leaving Sunday afternoon sometime. We might just pop in at church to say hi, so if we don't see ya I think we are planning a trip down there Easter weekend also. I'm excited!!

Pet peeves and pictures

So THIS is just one thing that really BUGS me!

Do you see what it is? It's not the HUGE pile of dishes that I have to wash or that I have to wash them. Have another guess? Maybe this picture will help........

Do you see the difference? Yes, the amount of the dishes is the same. Notice it yet? If you guessed that ALL the dishes are NOT piled in the SINK, then you win!! (What do you win? An imaginary gold star stuck to your forehead.) It drives me crazy that the dishes get piled up in the sink!! Yes they are dirty and yes they need to be washed, but how am I supposed to fill the sink with water if all the dishes are in it? Or how I am supposed to wash off Elias' tray for his highchair without getting water all over the floor and myself? RINSE YOUR DISHES AND PUT THEM ON THE COUNTER!! I am guilty of putting a dish in the sink every once and a while and since I tell Noah to put his dishes in the sink when he's done I know that there might be some in there occasionally. And since Elias can't reach the sink very well (without the assistance of a chair), can you guess who the culprit might be? I will stop now and just leave it at that........

So on a more upbeat note, here are some fun pictures of my beautiful kiddos.......

Here is a picture of Noah reading to Elias when Elias was only a few months old. I love this picture!!

Now here they are just a few days ago. Noah is 4 and Elias is 2. Noah still likes to read to his little brother.

I just took this one tonight. I set Amelia on the chair because she hates to lay down and I had to pick up the living room really quick. I guess Jack, our dog, wanted to sit with her. I think he is a little jealous of all the attention Amelia gets that he used to get. Silly dog!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Now I understand that it is hard for some kids to say certain words. There are times that I have to really rack my brain to try and figure out what my kids are saying. Like when Noah was little it took me forever to realize what he meant when he asked if he could have "geenaw". I will give you a minute to see if you can figure it out............... if you guessed 'candy' then you figured it out alot faster then I did.

Well this has been a recent occurance since Amelia was born. Both Elias and Noah have had a hard time pronouncing her name. Noah really has to annunciate her first name, 'A-mill-ee-a' or sometimes he leaves out the first letter, 'Mill-ee-a'. He pronounces every syllable. Elias slurs her first name together, 'millia'.

The fun part has been listening to them try to pronounce her middle name, 'Naomi'. Noah, when asked what his sister's name is will respond with, "A-mill-ee-a Wyoming". Yes, I said WYOMING! We then tell him her name is not 'Amelia Wyoming', but 'Na-o-mi'. He can say it if he really concentrates, but most of the time it comes out as Wyoming.

Now Elias pronounces it even funnier! The other day at church a sister that was sitting behind us held Amelia during sacrament meeting. Joey was holding Elias and trying to occupy him by asking him him where his eyes were and were mommy was, etc. When he got to asking him where Amelia was Elias leaned over the back of the pew, pointed at her and said, "Millia My Homie right dhere!". Now, as most of you know, children under the age of about 6 tend to not be able to talk in a quiet voice, especially at church. To add to it, he kept saying it over and over again! "Millia My Homie, Millia My Homie, Millia MY HOmie". Yes, he did emphasize the 'O' in homie. The sister holding Amelia just started giggling. Along with most of the congregation. She leaned forward and whispered, "What is he saying?". I whispered back (trying not to laugh out loud), "He is saying his sister's name. Amelia Naomi". She got a kick out of that! What's funny to me was the look on Elias' face. He was so proud that he thought he was saying her name correctly that he was beaming! Too fun!

Accident Prone

So I have decided that my kids are a lot like me. Unfortunatly that means they are a little bit accident prone. When I was 2 I hit my face somehow and my tooth went through my bottom lip. When I was 4 I fell out of a plum tree and broke my wrist. When I was 6 or 7 I was jumping off stairs and broke my foot. When I was 8 my brother hit me in the head with a bat (on accident) while playing baseball. I got 12 stitches. When I was 11 I fell out of a truck, going about 45MPH, wearing nothing but a bathing suit. I was in the hopital for 2 weeks and missed about a month of school. I have broken the growth plate in my foot playing basketball, my finger while playing frisbee (I know, I know), and have had many surgeries. Let's just say I think that my parents are glad that I am finally an adult and have to pay for my own medical bills. ;o) These are just some of the major accidents I have had. Who knows how many times I fell off my bike and scraped my knees and so on........

So my kids........

Noah is 4 and has already broken his arm while throwing a tantrum and has gotten 7 stitches in his head because he ran into the side a tailgate that was down. We went to Walmart a couple of weeks ago and while walking through the parkinglot he ran into the back of a parked Suburban. He was right next to me and wasn't paying attention. As I walked around the car he was looking at his shoes or the ground or something much more interesting than what's in front of him and .........WHAM!.........I laughed so hard! I know that's mean when you child is crying, but it was hillarious! The other day he was playing a smacked his kneecap on the corner of a board. (That really hurts! If you never done it I don't reccommend it.) He was limpimg for a good day. Yesterday he smacked his face on the top of Elias' head and bit to big holes in his tongue. Elias was standing up as Noah was going to sit down and........WHAM! These are just a few incidents. Then there are all the little bumps and bruises that he get for just being a boy.

Elias' injury list isn't as long, but that's because he is only 2. Most of the time he gets hurt because his big brother hits him or plays to rough with him. He fell down 3 cement stairs strapped in his stroller and landed right on his face. (That one I blame on me. I wasn't thinking and then when I saw him going I wasn't fast enough to catch the stoller.) Recently he was running and playing with our dog, Jack. Jack has this rope with big knots on the end of it and was shaking it in his mouth and........WHAM! He hit Elias right in the left eyelid and split it open. It wasn't a huge cut, but big enough to bleed and freak me out a little bit. Now it is bleeding into the rest of his eyelid so it looks like he is wearing purpley-red eyeshadow with 2 little scabs in it.

He hasn't been to the hospital for anything excpet being sick, but I'm sure that day will come soon enough. The thing that cracks me up about him is that he can't seem to stay on his feet. He tries to keep up with Noah and just can't. He starts to run and takes about 2 steps and.......WHAM!...... gets up and takes another couple steps and ......WHAM!......down he goes. At least now he puts his hands out to brace his fall. (Yes, he used to land on his face a lot.) The other day Joey said that he is going to have brain damage for how often he hits his head. I giggled realizing that he does hit his head a lot. (Joey didn't think that it was funny.) Life.........why does it have to hurt so much? LOL! I love it!

Amelia has not done anything just because she can't walk or crawl yet. I'm sure that having 2 older brothers will bring many bumps and bruises. Not to mention, she is my child and if she is half as active as I was.........we are going to need good insurance. This picture is the most recent 'cuz I took it today. She's getting big....sort of. Her last weigh in she was 9lbs 13oz and 23inches long. For her wieght and height she is in 10% for her age. She was supposed to gain 55oz since she was born and she has done exactly that.

These pictures are just for fun. I got these lips for Valentine's Day. They were HUGE so I thought I would take pictures.

Dallin

Yesterday's post was a little drab.......to say the least. I think I just needed to vent a little.......... but I did find something good to post today.

Yesterday a very special little boy in my life turned 8 years old. His name is Dallin and it amazes me that it has been 8 years since he chose me to be the vessel through which he came to earth.

This was him then:

This is him now, with his little brother:

Happy Birthday Dallin!!

Nothing real interesting

Sometimes I wonder why I even have a blog. I hardly ever update it and I really don't have anything interesting to say. Life here is pretty much the same. No money, need to find a new place to live (which is hard when you have no money), kids are growing fast, house is always a mess (so it seems), and it's cold and snowy which just adds to the deppression. Feeling a little bummed if you couldn't tell. I should just stop and not wirte until I have something positive to say. I know there is something, but just not feeling it right now.

2 months old already!

Amelia Naomi is 2 months old already!! She had her 2-month appointment today and she is 9lbs 8oz and 23in long. She also had her first set of shots. She did not like them one bit!! When Noah got shots he cried for about 2 seconds and then was fine. Amelia screamed with the first one and then went silent (you know when they are crying so hard they don't make any noise) with the second shot. I looked at her and her face was all aquished up and BRIGHT red! I know it sounds mean, but I giggled at her. She then let out a scream I've never heard her make before. I didn't think that she was capable of making such a sound! Then the 3rd shot just made it worse. Poor baby!

She didn't get to see the doctor though. He had an emergency at the hospital (he's a pediatrician and an OB). I wasn't too worried though. She's growing fine and nothing is out of the norm. I just can't believe that she is 2 months already! Time flies when they are little............

My sister and I were talking about time the other day and she was saying that time just flies after you start having kids. I guess it does because you have appointments to go to and then it's school and ball games and so on....... and before you know it they are 18 and out of the house. (That's what it feels like to me with my nephew. He is 17 and a senior........ I remember when he was born....... that was yesterday......right?)

So I don't have any pictures to post of Amelia right now because I am tired and don't want to download them from my camera right now. I know, I know, I'm lazy. I will put some on here next post though. She is fun and starting to smile for real at everyone. She always has her big, blue eyes WIDE open and then even wider when you talk to her. I don't know if you've seen the movie 'The Dark Crystal', if you have she kind of looks like a Podling. It's cute! She looks so much like her brothers that I still like to put some sort of bow in her hair so I know she's a girl.

I love having a girl though! She's my little sweet pea!!

Perception

Just a few days ago my sister-in-law's grandfather passed away and so they were here for the funeral. Since then I have been thinking about perception. Not of pictures like this one, but of people.

Her grandfather grew up and lived most of his life here in Lovell. So naturally most everybody here knew who he was. My sister-in-law also thought she knew who he was until his children got together and she found out some really "interesting" things about him.

My mom was talking to a woman, she lived here in Lovell, that knew him and she was saying what a wonderfully nice guy he was and how he was so devout to the church and so on. Well, that was how SHE perceived him or how he showed himself in public. My sister-in-law also thought he was the fun and safe grandpa. Well, to those he supposedly "loved" and "cared for", namely his kids, he was much different. I'm not going to go into detail, but he was not nice.

Also, my mom's mom passed away this last year and it was amazing how our cousins saw her as a wonderful, loving grandmother. That is how she treated them, but she treated us a little different. My mom joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints a few years after she was married, so we eventually became "spoiled, little mormon brats". She was also wonderful to my aunt and uncle, but she was awful to my mother who cared for her in the years before her death. Hmmmm......

So this got me to thinking how people perceive me and how I present myself in public. Am I the same as I am at home? Do I put on a facade so people think I'm a certain way? It made me wonder what my children will say about me when I am dead. Are they going to have to rack their brains for fun moments or times I was nice or loving? Are they going to mourn or celebrate? I hope it's not the latter. (Unless I've been suffering and dying from some horrible disease for a long time.)

I know this might be a little deep for a blog post, but it's been on my mind. What are those people that I know and love really like when I'm not around? Are we all this way? Are we different when "the world" is or isn't watching? Isn't it more important that our Heavenly Father is always watching? And aren't we trying to strive to be like him? Let's just say that I'm going to try a little harder.

[I need summer to come. This cold and snow keeps me couped up in the house, so all I have to do is think. Sometimes this isn't a good thing.]

Life Update

I have decided that my life is like a rollercoaster. And not one of those rollercoasters that you like and want to ride over and over again. Mine is one of those that not many people ride because it looks like it is going to breakdown or fall apart in the middle of the ride. Scary!

I guess that's what keeps you on your toes though. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. All those lines that should give you uplifting feelings and are supposed to make you feel better....... Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So what's going on with the fam and kids........... Joey's job is still giving him hardly any work and he hasn't been able to find a better one (or ANY one for that matter). I still haven't heard from the elderly lady I am supposed to help. I think that her kids are going to decide that she needs to live with one of them...... so there goes that money I thought was going to come in. It just astounds me how much money problems can stress a person, and relationship, out! *sigh* I also haven't been doing to well on the whole losing weight thingy. (It's a little hard to be motivated right now)

Noah has been doing excellent! He writes his own name (which he has been doing for some time now), he writes his brother's and sister's names all the time, and at school he has been writing down all the areas that he plans to play in for that day (computer area, book area, art area, etc). He has been trying to read and I've been trying to help him. We get new books from the library just about every day that are "learning to read" books. He loves it! He's gotten into a little bit of a rebelious stage that he has "taught" his little brother as well. Elias is in a "No!" phase, which I guess means he is trying to show his independence. I hate it, but what can you do?!

He also is asking me a lot to hold his baby sister. Basically he just puts his arms around her while you hold her up for him. Even if it only last for a few seconds he loves it! Noah and Elias are so different that it amazes me! Noah was walking and talking a lot sooner than Elias ever did. Noah was, and still is, so interested in learning all he can. Elias, I think, could care less. I guess it just goes to show that we were all so different before we came to earth, in the pre-mortal life, even though we came from the same parents.

Amelia is doing well. She is almost 2 months old and she has gained at least 2 pounds since she was born. She is still so tiny and petite though. Noah fit into 0-3 months clothes for about a day and Amelia is just starting to fit into 0-3 months. My brother and his family saw her for the first time the other day and they just kept saying how tiny she was. I don't mind that she is small. It makes it feel like it will be a long time before she grows up and I'm okay with that. She is my precious little girl!

I am happy that we are all alive, healthy, and together.

Blessings

So just when I thought that things aren't going to get better, even though I have done those things the Lord has asked me to do, He blesses me beyond what I could've hoped for.

Joey's job has been lacking in work so he hasn't worked for over a month. Can you imagine not having a months worth of income? And at Christmas time? Well, I can......it's not something I never want to experience EVER again. Let's just say I am glad that we had some, very little, money in savings and some, again very little, food storage. I always thought that food storage was for the second coming or a natural disaster emergency, but now I know that there are many types of "emergencies". I am also very glad to be a part of the true church and that the Lord takes care of His children.

Well, I got a call the other day about a job that I never even thought about. My bishop's wife is a CNA at the hospital and she said an elderly lady wanted to go home, but her kids didn't want her to be home alone. This lady had been looking for someone, unsuccessfully, to help her at home and my bishop's wife told her about me. So she called me, I went to the hospital to meet her and now I have a job. And I can bring Amelia with me so I don't have to worry about pumping bottles! Blessing #1

Blessing #2: Then yesterday Joey's phone rang......and it was his job!!! Yea!!! He is now at work, at least for today and tommorrow. Hopefully they will have enough work for him to go back full time. I'm just glad that he has something to do during the day now. <---Blessing #3. He was starting to drive me nuts! I love my husband, but when you are used to having a schedual and not another person to clean up after (or around), it wears on you.

Blessing #4: We found a house to rent and it is still in the same ward! I am glad for that since I love my calling and I just got it. The only problem is that I can't get ahold of the lady that rents it to go and look at it. Also to ask her if we can have our dog. (We are getting rid of our cat. She's just getting meaner and meaner. And keeps getting into things, like the baby's bed and tipping over water.)

I'm sure that there are many other blessings that I didn't list, but those are the ones that I have been stressing over lately. I know that this post has a completely different tone than the last one and it makes me sound a little bi-polar, but it just happened so fast. Life is good when you're doing what you should! ;o)

VENTING A LITTLE

So today I am just feeling a lot of emotions. It might be that I just got an IUD and my body isn't used to it. It might me that Joey hasn't worked for over a month and there is a severe lack of jobs right now. It might be that we have to move out of this house since my brother-in-law is planning to sell it to his brother in the spring. (Yea for them, sucky for us.)

It might be that I just had a baby and am feeling the weight of having someone so dependant on me on top of all the other motherly duties that come with 3 kids. It could also very well be that I am missing some 'girl time' with my friends out there in SLC. We shall see when we make it out there considering the lack of $cash$ flow. Or it could be the winter blues since the temperature doesn't stay above zero for very long.

I don't know what it is. I guess I just needed to get that stuff off my chest. Maybe I just need to rely on my Heavenly Father a little bit more and things will work out. I apologize for the ranting. If you made it through this post you deserve a cookie or some sort of 'pick-me-up'. *sigh*