Perception

Just a few days ago my sister-in-law's grandfather passed away and so they were here for the funeral. Since then I have been thinking about perception. Not of pictures like this one, but of people.

Her grandfather grew up and lived most of his life here in Lovell. So naturally most everybody here knew who he was. My sister-in-law also thought she knew who he was until his children got together and she found out some really "interesting" things about him.

My mom was talking to a woman, she lived here in Lovell, that knew him and she was saying what a wonderfully nice guy he was and how he was so devout to the church and so on. Well, that was how SHE perceived him or how he showed himself in public. My sister-in-law also thought he was the fun and safe grandpa. Well, to those he supposedly "loved" and "cared for", namely his kids, he was much different. I'm not going to go into detail, but he was not nice.

Also, my mom's mom passed away this last year and it was amazing how our cousins saw her as a wonderful, loving grandmother. That is how she treated them, but she treated us a little different. My mom joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints a few years after she was married, so we eventually became "spoiled, little mormon brats". She was also wonderful to my aunt and uncle, but she was awful to my mother who cared for her in the years before her death. Hmmmm......

So this got me to thinking how people perceive me and how I present myself in public. Am I the same as I am at home? Do I put on a facade so people think I'm a certain way? It made me wonder what my children will say about me when I am dead. Are they going to have to rack their brains for fun moments or times I was nice or loving? Are they going to mourn or celebrate? I hope it's not the latter. (Unless I've been suffering and dying from some horrible disease for a long time.)

I know this might be a little deep for a blog post, but it's been on my mind. What are those people that I know and love really like when I'm not around? Are we all this way? Are we different when "the world" is or isn't watching? Isn't it more important that our Heavenly Father is always watching? And aren't we trying to strive to be like him? Let's just say that I'm going to try a little harder.

[I need summer to come. This cold and snow keeps me couped up in the house, so all I have to do is think. Sometimes this isn't a good thing.]